ThOuGhTs

time passed..everything has changed...

As I was enjoying my day cruising around with my boyfriend, we heard the news about the 13 year-old kid in Colorado who shot a 9 year old. Only one comment came into my mind: "so sick in the head!!!". Society nowadays is very scary. You never know now who your real friends are. Going back to the situation, I asked myself "How can this be possible? How can a young kid shoot someone that's even younger than him/her?" (I'm not sure if the suspect was a boy or a girl).If you think about it, there is only one reason why things like these happen, and that is the loss of people's values.

Let me take you back in the days when I was young. I was born and raised in Manila. My family never had much, but my parents worked hard to raise me and my brothers with good education, and good values. Like everybody else there, I went through discipline that I thought at first was way out of line. But, when I think about it, I'm very glad that they did. Disciplining kids in my country is one of the things that I can be proud of, because it's not 'abuse', but it showed me how much my mom and dad love me, and also, it's just teaching me that they are the boss, and deserved to be respected. We are free to say what we think and feel, but in the right way. I remember when I was 5, I threw something at our maid, it hit her in the head. Although that was unintentional, my dad got disappointed and hit me with a belt, when I didn't apologize to her. This way of discipline already existed even when my mom was still young. In some provinces in the Philippines, everybody, especially kids, should be home by 6 p.m., for the traditional praying of the rosary, which still exists to this day. There are some exceptions, of course. They do this religiously, for they know what will happen if they break the rule.

I can write about the experiences I had in my past, but that's not where I'm going. What I wanted to say is that, hitting our kids doesn't mean that we as parents are abusing them. It's showing them that we love them and we don't want them to grow up disrespectful and with no manners at all. I don't understand why hitting our kids is illegal here. And one thing I can also say is that I have never heard of kids feeling embarrassed when their mom or dad hugs them in front of their friends, until when I got here. Why is that? How can it be embarrassing if your parents hug you? That's what I don't get at all. That, for me, is weird. Going back to the news, I think the parents should be blamed. Why? Aside from the fact that their kid shot somebody, I think they never showed love and care for their kid.

I used to work at a mental institution, and I felt fortunate, because I was able to know and figure out why they were there. And the only reason why they're there is because of:

Lack of love. Like what I mentioned earlier, some kids feel like they look bad when their parents are around them. Others feel otherwise, but the parents don't show their love. That's why they become rebellious, and involve themselves with gangs. In there, they feel the love and care that they're looking for in their own home. Also, they spend more time with their friends, either by hanging out after school, skipping school, or logging on to chatrooms on the internet. Isn't it any wonder why date rape exists? Are you still surprised that kids nowadays don't focus on their studies? I am not being racial, and I hope you don't find this offensive. I am just saying my opinion about what's happening, because I'm really scared for my own son.

That's why it all comes down to this: We, as parents, should teach our kids the values that our ancestors once had. I may not be able to change the law regarding how to discipline our children, but at least let them know that they still need to respect their parents. And for parents, we should love our kids, and express it in ways we can. It should not bother if you're in front of their friends. They may not like it for now, but I'm very sure, they will thank us, later.

posted by kate buenconsejo @ 9:25 PM