ThOuGhTs

Unsatisfied

If given the question 'what do u want in the opposite sex?', some of the answers would be "eyes", "smile", "personality", "maturity", and even "dimples". Most are not even sure of their answers. Call it a 'maybe' kind of a reply, but for all we know, when you fall in love, none of these matters anymore because we become blind. That's a fact. Some people fall for somebody that makes them laugh, others is because of they're attractive, even though the attitude shows otherwise. Second, we become deaf. The line "I don't care what they say"is a very perfect example. Usually, we don't take our family's and/or friend's advices, until it's too late. But hey, sometimes we have to be hurt to learn from it,right? And mind you-regret always happens in the end, wherein you cannot do anything about it anymore.

But what do we really look for? For the rest, the question remains unanswered because of one reason- people cheat. The so-called big "C" in a relationship that ruins the trust and love one has for the other. But, really, how come there still are people out there that cheat? I know that nobody's perfect. But I don't think it's a good excuse. Why is it still happening? I may sound judgmental, but this is just an observation. You actually wonder how do they feel when they do, what comes into their minds, and what makes them do it. Well, here are some of the common reasons:
a.) LOVE. People fall out of love, and find somebody else because the #2 loves more than the first. Now this is strange. How could it be possible when the 1st one did almost everything and yet, loses? Then how the hell did the relationship start in the first place?
b.) MONEY. Accept the fact-we all need money, that's why we work. I agree, but when you allow yourself to become greedy, and being bought, that explains it. Cheating on your partner because the lover is as rich as Donald Trump is also one thing why.
c.) SEX. Admit it! Most people are not satisfied with their partners' "performance", or what they have physically, that's why they end up looking for somebody else. Come on! What's the difference? We humans and animals alike do the same thing, right? Excuse me for being this graphic, but that's how I see it.

There may be some other reasons, but these three stand out as the most common. Another one, I think, is because the parents did it, too. I saw a movie about a woman cheating on her husband, because her father cheated on her mom. Her mom knew, but was just discreet about it. When she was young, her dad used to bring her to the other woman's house, and when they come back home, the father will just give her whatever she wanted, so she would not tell a soul. For some of you who can relate, don't blame yourself, and I don't think it's your fault, either. Those memories were so stuck in your heads that you thought it was right.

No matter what reasons may arise into our minds, there is only one thing to know-the truth hurts, but a lie will hurt more in the long run. Cheating is not a good thing, although it happens all the time. So, if you happen to be cheated on, like me, here are some tips that you may take as an advice, based on my own experience:
1.) DON'T BLAME YOURSELF. They cheated, not you. So don't waste your time trying to figure out what you've done to make him/her cheat. They're the problem, not you.
2.) TALK ABOUT IT. Ask why he/she did it. I tell you now, the cat will come out of the bag. They will tell you excuses at first, but in the end, you'll see. Again, do #1, and be strong as much as possible. Or, talk to your friends and/or family about what happen. They will give you advices that you can take to move on with your life. It's understandable that you will be depressed, especially when you shared a lot of good memories for a long time.
3.) LET GO. I know it's a hard thing to do, but this is the only way to get over it. This can be done in so many ways:
-BE PROUD OF YOURSELF. When you know that you did nothing wrong, he/she will realize that it's their loss. There are only a few like you, and that makes you a unique person.
-LET IT OUT. Cry, talk to your family and/or friends, or write it down. It actually helped me a lot, because that's how I used to express my anger and sadness. It's like the paper is the person you want to confront. Crying is not a problem, whether you're a man or a woman. That's why God gave us the ability to cry-the tears help release tension that we feel deep inside. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
-PRAY. If you don't want to talk to anybody, why not talk to God? Lock yourself in your room, and tell him everything. Cry to Him, and talk to Him like he's there beside you. But don't ask Him why. Instead, thank Him for being there for you, and ironically, thank Him for that experience. Thank Him for that person. Whether it turned out bad, that person helped you become stronger and wiser. A comedian once said "it's better to be dumped than never been dumped at all". Makes sense, doesn't it? Reading the bible will also help you, because the answers are there.

The experience will make you realize a lot of things: one is-you're a great person. You did everything that you know is the right thing to do. Second one is- you become wiser, and learned a lesson, although the hard way, but that will teach you something you will carry on the next time you fall in love again. And lastly-God never left you alone. He never did, and he never will. In some situations, you may think so, but it's not true. The truth is, it's just one of the many trials and tests of your faith and patience that He will give you in your lifetime. He does everything in his own ways unpredictable to us. If he doesn't want it, it will never happen, no matter what we do. If you don't believe me, read the story of JOB in the bible. His story is even harsh, but still he was able to make it. For us, we should stay strong and faithful, for good things come to those who wait, and trust God.

posted by kate buenconsejo @ 12:21 PM