ThOuGhTs

New Year full of Oh dear..

14-Jan-08: My son and I went to see my dad and also to get his gifts for us from Manila. When we got there, I was happy to see that he came back in one bigger piece: I hate to admit he gained some weight from eating the native food he simply can't find anywhere else, especially the way he likes it cooked. But that didn't matter to him when he saw his grandson, his one and only for the moment.

To his excitement in telling his experiences , he was screaming like I have a hearing aid on me. And that was just the beginning. He took out bags full of pictures, shirts, books, and other stuffs that we can only buy there. And his voice became higher to the point that I blushed from embarrassment thinking neighbors might think we are having a fight or something. And what's worse, my brothers came too. Go figure.

I saw pictures of him when he was young. Right there I knew I had to ask him how he wooed my mom. I asked not because I didn't want to offend him, but for us to have a laugh. He gave me a heads-up look and cleared his throat proudly. It also crushed my heart to talk about my mom. I am darn sure it would have been more fun and louder with her being there with us. I remember back then when they talk: they sounded like they were in a competition. The louder you talk the better.

I have to admit moving to a far away place has its advantages. For a start, I had peace waking up the next day without having to trip on a pile of shirts laying around. Second, I had privacy by having my own room. But the disadvantages seemed to weigh more than I expected. Like my room has no lock. Thank God some of the people here knows that knocking and then asking if you could come in is a very nice etiquette. My aunt wasn't one of them. I hate to say it because it breaks my heart to talk about someone who I can almost call as my mom. Secondly, my love life isn't much private anymore because she told some people without asking me first if she could. What the hell?! And lastly, it takes me about an hour to go and see the rest of my family, including the love of my life.

But then I still thank God for making me and my son healthy, and helping me go home in one piece ; sometimes thinner and sometimes rather bigger. Hey, I'm only human. Mind you, losing weight isn't the first one on the list of my New Year's resolution. What is it then? Here are some of the resolutions that I promised to do:

1. Quit smoking. I am an occasional smoker. I can honestly remember having 10 sticks for the whole 2007. Last one was 31-Dec-2007, in the balcony of our old apartment which took us a solid 2 months just to empty it. How the crap got in there without making the floor collapse is beyond me. While smoking my last I figured that it would be the last stick that I would allow to ruin my life. What a relief to throw the cigarette butt on the roof of the building next to us. Don't worry, I poured water on it. No need to panic.

2. Become a strict vegetarian. This is still on the works. Believe me; it's so hard. How can someone resist a deliciously-grilled salmon, especially when you share it with the one you love? Or shrimp being enjoyed by my adorable 4-year old rascal? I remember the very first time I became a semi-vegan on the 30th of June 2007. It's like I can see meat having this logo of a skull with a big black x-mark in front of it. I guess I can work on imagining the logo being stamped on the salmon as well, especially when it's Alaskan Wild with a little of olive oil and some herbs and rice pilaf....what the heck! Who says I am gonna be a strict vegan?

3. Get my act together. I'm not losing a screw on my brain yet. But I'm freaking 27 years old. I am still in a position of being incapable of helping someone let alone myself. I always imagine having a nice house and a car. You know what's funny? They've been my dream since I was 6. It's still a dream to this day, not knowing when to make this a reality. If I don't do anything, then the screw might just go mad and leave my brain without realizing it.

Despite of the fact that I'm just like the rest of the world with struggles in life that never seemed to end, I'm glad that I still have my family and friends to help me cheer up. They may not have that much but at least the funny stories are on them. And the best of all is the love of my life. That particular person is someone that can make me proudly say "Est. 25-April-2005 and still counting..."

posted by kate buenconsejo @ 7:28 PM